‘Schoolhouse’ Category

The Snake Escapade (2009-8-19)

Category: Words| 1 Comment
It’s All in the Wrist
Submitted by KM

There I was, sitting in the house when all of a sudden the dog, outside, was barking like crazy. I run out the front door to stop her from barrelling down the driveway at someone or something. Huh….there is no dog out front, so I go back in.

I just sit down and the dog goes crazy again. I look out the front window this time, and yep, there she is barking like an animal possed, barking at the corner of the house, under the kitchen window. Out I go, Well fruitcake, she is barking at a water snake. I depise them. I swear out loud and head into the garage and get my Kamack boots on and grab the shovel.
After chipping quite abit of parging off the basement wall just below the bricks on the house, I kill it. I roar for my youngest daughter and show her the snake and ask her to take the dog in the house so I can dipose of the snake.
First off, have you ever tried to get a long, big, dead snake onto a spade? Pfffttt, so not an easy thing to do. While I am frigging around tyring to get the corpse onto the spade, out comes my daughter to watch.
I finally get the stupid snake onto the stupid shovel and I make my way to the back yard, down by the creek. Now, this part of the yard goes down hill towards the creek where the fence line is. We have put alot of leaves there over the last lot of years, very spongy. snort.
I march right up to that down like hill, pull back the spade and let the snake fly…………..only to have it land on a branch of a tree about 2 feet in front of me. There is dangles……….huh, grab the shovel, smack the branch, snakes falls off..sounds kosher eh? Nope, down the hill goes the dead snake and I’m thinking…..”can’t leave it there, the dog will get at it………….
Walk down the spongy hill, sinking deeply, trying to get the stupid thing BACK on the shovel, after much swearing get it back on, take my aim and let it fly again………yep, you guessed it, right back onto another branch… I mutter loudly…”you have got to be Freaking kidding me!!!!” When suddenly, I hear a giggle, then lots of giggles, I turn around and there is my daughter rolling on the ground with laughter.
HA HA funny, but this time the snake was hanging from a branch I couldn’t reach with the shovel, so I have to go to the brush pile and grab a large limb. I hit the snake out of the branch, and sure enough, down the hill it goes………..I have had it! I march, undignified, down the  hill, dig through the tons of  leaves, find the  snake, and just grab it and hurl it over the fence.
Was totally unbelieveable. If you weren’t there it really does sound like a comedy routine.
Just thought I would share this with you, knew you would appreciate it.

Of Veggies, Beer and Ice (2009-8-12)

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Of Veggies, Beer and Ice

The Anniversary Episode

(submitted by KM)

I have ALOT to do today to get ready for the in-law’s 50th wedding anniversary celebration tomorrow. I also would bet my paycheque that the dog has dualing ear infections again. Hmmmppphhh

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On our way in about 15 minutes to decorate the hall…and guess what???? The beer fridge is full and cold!!!! Teehee, should be fun.

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Okay, the decorating got done last night, looks great! Coffee now, then a shower, quick vacumming of house (my luck some of Dwayne’s relatives will come for a lookie loo at some point :) ) then off to the hall to set up flowers, cut some fruit trays, light some candles, get the coffee maker going, slice the buns……breathe, breathe,…teehee. Should be an amazing day! Looking forward to it :o )

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Eeeekkkk, the beer coolers shut down over night, made a major mad dash to the store for lots of bags of ice. Does anyone know how expensive frozen water is? I just about had a heart attack, then almost popped a muscle loading all the bags in the Rav. How rude that the store dude just stood there and watched me running around like a woman possessed! (I can hear you snorting Aunt G)

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Holy moley, who knew that 2 cheese trays, 2 meat trays and 1 veggie tray could be so huge. And did you know not to pick up the massive veggie tray by the sides????? No sireeee, the lid blows off, while in the store you ordered it from, veggies everywhere, in the huge cart, on the counter, on the floor. Snort!

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You should have seen the looks on the girls faces when I told them, on the way home from town yesterday, that if the lid blew off the veggies again, I was just going to sweep the veggies out of the back of the Rav into a big pail and just hose them down, and put them on a platter! The look on Megan’s face, in the passenger seat, had me laughing so hard I was literally squalling!!!!!!! (even though I was 100% serious, I don’t take stuff like that happening well when I feel pressured, and of course, that is ALWAYS when that kind of stuff happens to me) :) muahhh

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Oh yeah, and man do flip flops ever make a loud smaking sound when you are travelling 100 miles an hour on your feet! LOL LOL LOL – way out there I know, but had to share that. Snort.

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The anniversary do was a huge success! Mom and Pop were thrilled, lots of guests, good music, lots of food, lots of fun. Mom and the kid played a duet on their fiddles and it was amazing! By the way, I found out after 50 lbs of veggies had been… eaten that there actually was a tub of dip included with the tray. Huh who’d a thunk it, guess I didn’t have to go home and paw through the salad dressing like I did.

That’s it for now folks.  Hope you all have a great day.

The Challenge Word–a short short story (2009-7-15)

Category: Words| Tags: ,,,,| No Comments

Ready to Write?

Here’s something to write about. Focus on your hook.

Challenge word:  chirp

Yep. That’s it. We’re using the word chirp.

Write your thoughts in 500 words or less.

It may be funny, poignant, silly, introspective, technical, whatever.

Write and share.

Writer beware!  If you want us to read it, you have to hook us in.

Comment if you wish, or join in the fun and unleash your pen—er, that is, your computer.

Send your submission to gardener_green@cogeco.ca.  If you would like to share it, I will post it here.

Ready?   Write!