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Dear Pastor Lehrer

I hate my father! When I got home from school this afternoon there was a note on the TV. He’s gone. He took some of mom’s really nice things and left all the pictures of us girls behind. He just said he had to go on a business trip and he wouldn’t be back.  My mom is devastated and my sister can’t stop crying. We had no idea this was happening.

I HATE HIM. I HOPE HIS PLANE CRASHES.

I just wanted you to know.  My mom could use somebody to talk to. Can you come?

Yours truly

Betsie

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Dear Betsie

I am truly sorry to hear you news. I’ll stop and visit your mother tomorrow morning on my usual morning ride. We can talk in the sunshine over a cup of coffee.

In the meantime, you need to vent as well. Please write to me as often as you like.

I’d like you to try this old time remedy for ‘extreme emotion’.

Take an old mug and drop it on the patio.

Find all the pieces and glue them back together again.

Let me know how you made out.

Your friend

Pastor Lehrer

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Dear Pastor Lehrer

I did as you told me to but there are a whole lot of tiny pieces I can’t figure out.  I’m really mad now.

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Dear Betsie

You fired it.

Your friend

Pastor Lehrer

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Dear Pastor Lehrer

Oh. Sorry.  You said ‘drop’. 

I’ll try again.

Your friend Betsy

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Dear Pastor Lehrer

I did it. I dropped it like you said and now it’s all back together again, except you can see all the cracks and there are a few chips missing. I can’t find them.  It won’t hold any water either. But mom can use it for flowers when she’s feeling better.

Your friend

Betsie

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Dear Betsie

Thank you.  Lesson completed.

The first time you fired the mug, you did so in anger. Your emotions controlled you and it was impossible to undo what you had done—there was no hope for repair.

So it will be with your relationship with your father in the future if you allow your anger to lead you. You will destroy many things that won’t ever be properly fixed.

The dropped mug cannot ever be completely fixed, but it’s been put back together in a semblance of order.  You took time and care. That too is what life is all about.  Broken relationships cannot simply be healed, but with time and care, and a huge measure of forgiveness, they can be pulled together so that they will work.

Right now be there for your mother and your sister. You have taken an important step to email me. Pray together for one week, and talk it out with each other.  Do not talk about it with anyone else. Write to me whenever you feel the need.

We’ve had some good conversation this week. I continue to pray for you.

Sincerely

Pastor Lehrer

Dear Pastor Lehrer

You probably don’t remember me. I went to your Youth Group a few times but now I work on Friday evenings and can’t come anymore.

I have a problem and am hoping you can help me with it. Here it is. My boyfriend and I love each other and mostly have good times together, but lately he’s been pressuring me to go to bed with him. We’re pretty young, and I’m not ready for that, but I don’t know if I can keep on saying no.

Please help me.

Your friendKelly

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Dear Kelly

A smiling red-head, proud to admit she’s off the wall comes to mind. Yes, I definitely remember you.

A boyfriend is exactly that—a friend who is a boy. Friends take care of each other and never ask them to do anything contrary to their will or their belief. The Bible has a wonderful bit of prose on that subject. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. You may already be familiar with it. It clearly defines God’s idea of a perfect friendship.

Free each other to spend time with all your friends. If you come back together, your love is true. If you do not, it never was.

May the Lord bless you both as you work this through.

Sincerely

Pastor M. Lehrer

If I could see me through God’s eyes, I’d be a much nicer person.